I work, and I'm funny!

I can't believe it, but I have developed a reputation at work for being "funny" and "making people laugh!" Me!
Here's why. I work in the craziest health club in the world. I don't know what it is about that place (other than it's next to the old age assisted living facility) but it attracts a lot of old people with no boundaries. Add that they are Boulderites and you've got neurotic, entitled, self-important crazy. Members mistake their health club for their homes. All of us, the employees, exist simply to fulfill their very specific needs. Add to all this that I work the café - food is involved - and people are just out of their minds.
Now we all know how cranky I can be, but somehow I've managed to find the humor in all of this, and I keep a smile pasted firmly on my face at all times. Then, when the coast is clear, I make fun of the members to the staff, and they find me funny! Turns out, this shit job may be the best job I've ever had!
Today, Barry, who is homeless (in Boulder?) and claims to live in a motel (no one asks how he is affording his club membership) was brushing his teeth in the lobby of the club. Apparently this is not new behavior. Barry lingers in the club all the time. He hovers over the front desk and café and every five minutes or so one of us asks him if he needs anything, and he says no. He just stands and stares. Creepy, old guy. Often, he uses the club phone on the wall by the front desk to make very important phone calls. Rumor has it that the IRS is after him. I've learned not to ask him how he is, because his answer is always, "Terrible."
Old, alcoholic guy (OAG) came into the club today and didn't have his workout clothes or a bag. He tried to tell me his name so I could check him in and I couldn't spell it, so he gave me a hard time. I finally let him into the club, 'cause that's what we do there. Basically, anyone can come in if they act annoyed. And that's most people. The managers seem to fear offending anyone in the community, so we let anyone in.
Anyway, OAG, 5 minutes later, returned to the front desk sweating profusely. What did he do????
BG (NO! NOT BUBBLE GIRL! Bagel Girl) works at the old age home across the street. Every morning she calls the front desk and asks us to put aside a sesame bagel for her. Toasted. She's not a member. She just comes in for her bagel. The other day she complained that we were charging her for cream cheese. Apparently we used to NOT charge for cream cheese.
Are you getting this?
Oh, I can go on and on, and I will.