Weight Loss Miracles

What? I haven't blogged in that long? Sigh. Here's the problem, I don't drink a lot lately. So, drink and write? Or don't drink and don't write? Friday afternoon happy hour has been replaced with dog walking at the humane society. I also acquired a job working the front desk at a health club. One of my shifts starts at 5:00 a.m. and another lasts until 11:00 p.m. So you see? There's not much opportunity for inebriation. Suddenly, I have to be awake, alert and perform like a functioning member of society.
I should really beware of what I ask for. The universe does tend to provide.
Every so often spam hits my email telling me how to lose weight, and I think, should I lose weight? They're telling me to, that means I need to, right? "They" know, don't they? I didn't think I needed to diet, but I guess I was wrong. I mean, what if an anonymous source sent you an email advertising a miracle mouthwash that eliminates halitosis? You'd buy it, right?  Or a miracle deodorant that eliminates body odor? These ads may play on our insecurities and paranoia, but I'm not taking any chances.
Someone asked me recently to name an object/thing that I think best represents me. I said, a dog. She was a little taken aback by my choice, I think, but that's because she thought I was implying that I thought I was ugly. That's not what I meant. I am lazy. I like to lie around and do nothing. I often sit and stare into space at, seemingly, nothing. I'll eat anything, anytime, and if I had my choice, I'd just exist to keep my people company and show them some love and affection. It seems to me to be a very noble cause. As good as any I can think of.