Search for Self Called Off After 47 Years
One could say that I'm an underachiever, or lazy, or dysfunctional in some way because I don't work a regular job and I'm home a lot, but after a great deal of introspection along with my keen powers of observation, I've concluded that I'm this way because I'm so goddamn mentally healthy.
Most high-achievers have something to prove. They were brought up to believe that their accomplishments in the world made them good people who are admirable, even loved. WHAT they do is what defines them, and who they are is secondary. Then, they spend their adult lives striving for self-acceptance and trying to love themself for being who they are. They go to yoga, retreats, meditation. They drink, take drugs, see their therapists, all in the name of self-acceptance. Why? Because working hard is never a recipe for self-love. Working hard is never a recipe for anything, really, except if you are actually being paid what you're worth. I don't know anyone who is.
On the other hand, if you are comfortable with who you are, you don't really give a shit what you do and you end up on the couch all day eating the metaphorical bon bon. (I prefer animal crackers.) I mean, if you don't care about impressing anyone or winning approval or love from anyone else and you just accept that you are who you are, there's not much motivation to do anything at all. We are all driven by dysfunction. Need for love and acceptance, power, money, admiration and the pat on the back that tells us we're worthy. Since I guess I don't care about any of that, I'm going back to my book. Hope you're all having a good day. Mom and dad, great job. Sigh.
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