The Saddest Movie Ever

I went to see Julie and Julia the other day with my mother and sister in law. It was supposed to be a feel good thing, you know, girls’ day at a chick flick. I cried through the whole movie. Mind you, this is a happy movie with not a lot of depth. It’s a sweet, little story. Meryl Streep was wonderful as Julia’s impersonator, Stanley Tucci was adorable and Amy Adams was annoying. Really no surprises there.
But nonetheless, I cried. I cried because Julie Powell is a real person who did what I should have done and is living the life I almost lived. I watched her living in Queens (I lived in Queens), writing (I wrote) and getting notes from fans (does hate mail count?) and I cried. I watched her get phone calls from the media, and I cried. I watched how she watched over people’s shoulders as they read about her in the New York Times and cried. I watched how she ultimately got her book deal and bawled until I had to stifle the noise. I can just see it, my sister in law, "What are you crying about???” I cried for what should have been.
I hear SSMG’s frustration in my head. “So why don’t you do it?” Like you can just go out and do these things. Julie Powell didn’t DO anything. Readers found her. She was discovered. That’s how these things happen. You put yourself out there and dumb luck, out of 50 million bloggers on the internet, you get discovered. I was published. I got lots of kudos along the way. “BG, you’re so funny! You should be a writer!” Yeah, thanks. Music to my ears. But HOW???? No one told me that. I watch friends work for years on “projects.” Aggressively trying to start their own business or become successful in some way. They don’t. They just keep working hard and spinning their wheels. I’m not saying hard work doesn’t get you anywhere. I mean, look at our president. But most of the time, the people who are famous didn’t get where they are from hard work. They got there by dumb luck and by knowing the right person. I have no luck and I don’t know anyone.
Oh well, at least I have my health.