Sam I am

SSMG were just at dinner after a hard day. I read in bed all day long with Sam at my feet. At dinner, SSMG declared that I was "just like Sam."
Sam's our mini dachshund, for those of you who don't know by now.
What SSMG meant by that is that I love nothing more than "doing nothing," i.e. reading (which, by the way, to some people doesn't count as "doing nothing") and in addition, like Sam, I live to eat, so I'm always looking forward anxiously to my next meal. Thankfully, as a member of the human species I get to make decisions about when and what to eat, as opposed to Sam, who gets fed two meals of chopped horsemeat a day.
I feel sorry for Sam. More today than ever. SSMG decided it would be funny to turn Sam into a "race" dog. What did that mean? He stuck a long piece of black tape down Sam's back as a racing stripe. Sam, embracing his new status as a racer, raced up the stairs to me and proceeded to cry, shake and roll on the floor to try to remove this funny thing on his back. I thought he was overreacting, as Sam tends to do (a trait he and I DON'T share, mind you) until I went to remove the tape and realized that it was, in fact, TAPE, and Sam, being made of fur was going to hurt when I removed it.
SSMG did the honors, declaring, "Oh," as he removed a layer of fur from poor Sam's back leaving him shaking and upset until, well, until we fed him dinner. Then he was fine.
I may be Sam, but no one's sticking black tape down my back any time soon just to turn me into a racer thank you very much.