The Coffee Phenomenon

My sense of humor seems to have returned. My hair is still bad, but not as bad as it was in my previous entry. Now, as SSMG pointed out, it looks like Princess Di's hair. Ugh. I prefer to think of it as resembling Ellen DeGeneres' who, though not attractive in the least, is married to perhaps the most beautiful woman in the world, Portia de Rossi. So, by six degrees of imaginary separation, one could say that I associate with beautiful people, and therefore, that makes me somewhat beautiful as well.
Okay, it's a stretch. If none of that works, at least my hair will grow back and I can return to obsessing about my lines and my weight like a normal person.
Narcissistic? Me? Well, defined as self-love, no. Self-involved, perhaps. Self-loathing? Maybe. Mostly I just think I'm not busy enough. With all of this time on my hands you would think I would, like, clean the house? That's what I will be doing today in preparation for SSMG's family visit this weekend. He found dust bunnies that were mixed in with my OLD hair - the long version - and I think it grossed him out which is good because it makes him appreciate my Ellen Degeneres look even more.
How did we get back to my hair?
Really the house needs to be cleaned because of the coffee phenomenon which I have never, ever understood. Coffee spills. Everywhere and always. Why is that? Other drinks stay in their cups. But I don't think a day has gone by where I haven't spilled a cup of coffee somewhere. Usually it's in my car or on my clean clothes. Yesterday I found a big spot on the floor in the den. Coffee has this uncontrollable free spirit instinctual thing that makes it want to be everywhere but in its cup.
Coffee and I have a lot in common.
Addendum three hours later: I thoroughly cleaned the whole house with no mishaps until I went to put a mug of coffee in the dishwasher, and it slipped out of my hands and splattered coffee all over the kitchen. Point made?