Bubble Girl? Meet Palsy Girl.

I'm having one of those, "you have everything you've ever wanted" nights that make me wonder why I'm not more content. Or, maybe I'm not unhappy at all and this is my normal state of existence. Like, no matter what happens, I think there's more out there. I can't tell. But I do know that it's Saturday night at 9:30 and I'm in bed drinking wine and blogging, and that doesn't seem like the picture of a woman who is living life to its fullest. What I really wanted to do tonight is go dancing, but when you're 44, you don't go dancing.
On the other hand, I have a wonderful, loving man in my life, a nice house to live in, two very cute (albeit very annoying) dogs to keep me company, I'm healthy and relatively fit, and I can still afford to buy the $20 bottle of Pinot Noir that is keeping me company tonight. This mood, most probably, is the result of spending the evening with my absolutely insanely unconscious family. Funny how many times the words "self-actualized" passed over my mother's philosophical lips when I was growing up, and now I see that those words just never sank in to anyone's reality. Not one of us is living in the present.
On a lighter note, tomorrow is a big day. It's the Puppy Bowl. And I, for one, will be brewing a big pot of chili all day to enjoy for the four hours that it airs - to be followed by an hour of The Office. It's a big day, and had I any friends to invite over to share in this monumental occasion, I would. But alas, it will be me and the dogs on the couch, eating our chili and watching the pups.
Speaking of pups, Muffin forgot how to walk. She recently developed a fear of the floor. So now, when she has to get somewhere, she propels herself off one mat and scurries quickly across the patch of floor (which of course makes things worse, only validating her fear of slipping) to the next mat. Mats that we have strategically placed for her so she can get from point A to B.
Can you picture this?
Anyway, I can't really laugh too much at her (though I do) for I find myself often forgetting the most basic of human instincts. Like, sometimes I forget how to breathe. I find myself sucking in air and blowing it out so loudly during my workouts that I embarrass myself., the staff at the gym, and, I think, SSMG.
I long ago forgot how to chew and swallow normally. Now, I have to consciously think about what I'm eating, how it feels when I chew it, and decide if swallowing it is a good idea or not.
My latest in the series of "how to move naturally without too much forethought" is where to put my arms when I sleep. I have an unnatural tendency to tuck my arms under my head or chin (I affectionately call myself Palsy Girl). I'm waking up in the middle of the night with my arms fast asleep. Amazingly, something triggers me to hang them over the edge of the bed to allow the blood to return. After I do this, the dogs wake up and we all have to reposition ourselves and start the whole cycle over again. I estimate that I wake up approximately every two hours to repeat this insanity.
So you see? I can't really make fun of Muffin for forgetting her most basic instincts, because I can't remember them either.
I guess when you're dealing with how to breathe, eat, and sleep, it's tough to really live a full, highly accomplished life. Maybe there will always be more for me out there, but until I master these most basic of human life skills, I have a lot to work on, and I don't think going dancing on Saturday night is in the cards for me.