Rantings on Repenting

This evening is the start of Yom Kippur, the Jewish holiday when we're supposed to fast for 24 hours and reflect on our sins. Amy and Ed (Amaretto the cat's parents) are coming to visit this weekend from Ithaca, and our plan is to drink heavily while reflecting on our bad behavior this past year. And I'm hoping to get some of my questions answered. I have a lot of questions.
Like, what is a sin? Is it a sin if it doesn't hurt anyone? Because usually the only person getting hurt is me, in which case the only sin I committed this year was killing a stick bug. And I'd like to say it went quickly, but I think it suffered.
Why do I have to starve myself for 24 hours to repent when all the Catholics have to do is confess for a few minutes and go on with their lives? I can't fast. Or rather, let me be more honest about this. Of course I can fast. I'm physically and mentally capable of fasting. But the thought of it depresses me so much - I can't live happily without eating - that it just doesn't seem like a worthwhile use of my time. If I thought I'd lose weight, that would be one thing. But past experience shows me that when I fast, it's followed by a huge binge, and that only makes it worse. God wouldn't want that for me, I'm sure. And didn't I fast enough for a lifetime when I starved myself for five months in high school?
I think I committed most of my sins last year so it's too late to repent anyway. Those would be: not being a loving daughter to my father, not being a loving daughter to my mother, not being a good aunt to my nephews and not being a good sister in law to my sister in law.
In short, my family gets the short end of the "stick" as it were. Oh, and I may have stolen a thing or two. Well actually, I may have stolen a thing or two this past year as well. But c'mon. No one gets hurt. It's not a sin to steal if no one really loses anything.
Is consuming alcohol a sin? No, it can't be because on every OTHER Jewish holiday we drink like fish. Why would God tell us to drink heavily and then make us repent for it later? I think not.
Is apathy a sin? I was very apathetic for a good part of the year, and I didn't work very hard all the time.
Is living with my boyfriend a sin? And if it is, do I care? I am soooooo in love with SSM Guy. Love can't be a sin.
Okay, well, that settles it. I have not sinned, I have nothing to repent for, and this weekend when we're drinking heavily, maybe we'll laugh and have fun instead of rehashing our mistakes.
Happy Yom Kippur!
Fondly,
Your Bubble Girl