Friends are vital. In my life, they've been my family, my sanity, my work, my social life, everything. I try to treat my friends as I would like to be treated, but occasionally something occurs to break up friends. Usually it's an expectation issue. One's are different than the other's. One's are higher than the other's. I mean, sure, we should expect things from our friends, but there has to be a level of freedom in a friendship that you don't have in other relationships. Friends can't tell you what to do. They can't expect you to behave as they would. They have to accept your differences. And they shouldn't be so hard on you when you don't come through with social plans because you had to pack up your storage unit, or you were tired, or you simply didn't feel like going. Rule number one in friendship: loyalty. Rule number two: Freedom to cancel.
Sometimes we find ourselves giving a lot more to a friendship than we get in return, and then, we feel used and it's imbalanced. In those cases, a break up might be in order. But it's painful and hurtful and disappointing to break up with a friend. There's the issue of how to break up with them - do I tell them what's bothering me? Do I write a note? Do I call them? I mean, you were never going out in the first place, how do you break up? Then there's the shared friends thing. All the people you were both connected to. Are you going to stay friends with them? Will they talk to your friend? Who will they choose? Will they be loyal to you? Will you still be invited to parties and social gatherings? It's all so complicated.
If only we were like dogs. They all get along, despite their differences. If they disagree, there's a growl, perhaps a bite on the ear, and then it's over. If one steps on the other's territory, they get punished, step back, and all is well. They can happily play in the park together later. Sniff each other's butts. They forgive and/or forget quickly.
Right now Muffin and Sam are curled up on top of a huge lawn garbage bag that holds my down comforter. Behind them is - what the hell? - a big, red book entitled Adolph Hitler. Hmmm. Never noticed that before. SSM guy, what's that all about? Oh my God. I'm living with a Nazi!!! Help!!!!!
Friends shmiends, Apparently I've got bigger fish to fry!
Sometimes we find ourselves giving a lot more to a friendship than we get in return, and then, we feel used and it's imbalanced. In those cases, a break up might be in order. But it's painful and hurtful and disappointing to break up with a friend. There's the issue of how to break up with them - do I tell them what's bothering me? Do I write a note? Do I call them? I mean, you were never going out in the first place, how do you break up? Then there's the shared friends thing. All the people you were both connected to. Are you going to stay friends with them? Will they talk to your friend? Who will they choose? Will they be loyal to you? Will you still be invited to parties and social gatherings? It's all so complicated.
If only we were like dogs. They all get along, despite their differences. If they disagree, there's a growl, perhaps a bite on the ear, and then it's over. If one steps on the other's territory, they get punished, step back, and all is well. They can happily play in the park together later. Sniff each other's butts. They forgive and/or forget quickly.
Right now Muffin and Sam are curled up on top of a huge lawn garbage bag that holds my down comforter. Behind them is - what the hell? - a big, red book entitled Adolph Hitler. Hmmm. Never noticed that before. SSM guy, what's that all about? Oh my God. I'm living with a Nazi!!! Help!!!!!
Friends shmiends, Apparently I've got bigger fish to fry!
Fuck it, let's go bowling.
1 comment:
What tha'??? Tell me, tell me...R U OK?
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