Biker chick or lesbian, which will it be?

Given that I may have recruited a new reader or two, I figured I'd better post something for them to read. It has, after all, been a year, and a lot has happened since then. Well, not really, but one can dream, no?
I binged watched Sons of Anarchy, and I decided I wanted to be a biker chick. So I grew my hair long and bought some black jackets. Tried to wear black high, heeled boots, but alas, my knee hurt and I ended up in physical therapy. Since the sexy biker chick look doesn't really go with Dansko clogs or Sole flip flops, I decided I'd try a different angle.

Binged watched Orange is the New Black and decided to go the dyke route. Bought a bunch of carpenter pants, flannel shirts and chopped my hair off. (Whew, can you say, nose job?) That look is going very well for me other than the fact that my husband hates flannel and has lost all interest in me. That's okay. Orange is the New Black has convinced me that we're all lesbians anyway, so I may try women. Turns out I have a lot more in common with Latina drug dealing prisoners than I do with high-achieving, A-type professional women who shop at Whole Foods and do yoga.
As my hair grows out and summer approaches I suspect I'll just neutralize back to my old, boring look. Denim and black t-shirts. Tanning might be an issue this year as I've had my skin photosynthesized to get rid of sunspots, so it's even more sensitive to the sun. One doesn't want to photosynthesize their face and then go out in the sun to redo all the damage that was repaired, now does one.
We'll see. Given that I may have nothing better to do with my time, I might have to get a tan.
Oh, and we bought a house, I started teaching autobiography classes and I volunteer working with old people now, so I guess a lot HAS happened in my life! Whew! That's a relief. I was worried.
Welcome new readers! You're in for the read of your life. Oh, and Butters is doing fantastic too. Thanks for asking.