Saturday, September 20, 2014

50 is the new...50

So my birthday passed without any upsets, other than dropping my home made M&M birthday cake face down on the floor in the kitchen, and then again on the patio during my wonderful party. A lot of people asked me how it "felt" to turn 50. My response? It doesn't really "feel" like anything. I mean, I'm not so sure what I'm supposed to be feeling. So I read a book to tell me. A book by a middle aged woman lamenting the sorrows of turning 50. The wrinkles, the sags, the injury-prone-ness (slower to heal), the un-coolness. She was trying to be funny, but the book made me cry. Oh, THAT'S what I'm supposed to be feeling. Distraught, depressed and all around miserable instead of "nothing."
It had occurred to me that perhaps my monthly rages, usually directed at SSMG but often at some infringement on my rights or some perceived act of anti-Semitism might be hormonal, but somehow it never occurred to me that I might be peri-menopausal. Really? I'm exempt!
Until I saw my doctor last week about my "moods."
"I'm very, very angry." I told her.
"ALL women your age go through this!" She assured me.
Oh yeah. I'm 50.
I wake up soaking wet in the middle of the night too. Ya think???
During one of our nonsensical fights a few weeks ago I came clean to SSMG that my mood might have something to do with my hormones changing. His response was, "Well how come you didn't do something about this! You knew this was going to happen, right? It's not like it was a surprise!"
I told that story to my doctor, and she laughed with me. He was angry because of something else, but she also assured me that men just don't and can't understand this. I should be talking to women.
I will share that story again and again though SSMG, I assure you. It's just fucking funny.
Meanwhile, SSMG made the most touching and wonderful speech at my birthday party that, if I can figure out technology, I will post here to inspire all of my 50-year old friends!

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