Apparently, I'm Pregnant

This is the view from the front desk, but I'll get to that in a moment.
Today, one of our old man members came into the club, looked at me and said, "You're pregnant."
Apparently the guy believes he has supernatural powers that allow him to predict pregnancy in women, and, in addition, the gender of their children. He is now, without a doubt, convinced that I am 17 weeks pregnant. I, on the other hand, am starving myself and working out like a maniac to lose the obvious baby bump that he observed.
So back to the weird photo that accompanies this blog post. Normally, where Jose is sitting (his name really is Jose, I'm not being racist) there are phones attached to the wall. These antiquated phones can be seen on the desk in the bottom left hand corner of the photo. These mammoth, antique, collectors' items that we used to call telephones are what we use to conduct business. There's so much static and noise on the line, none of us can hear a thing, especially now that construction is in progress. If you're lucky enough to be around when a call comes in, you can can hear, "Excuse me?" emanating from any one of us at the front desk at any given time. If it's BG at the front desk, you might here, "What was that? I can't hear you." because as we know, I'm a little less friendly than the exceptional staff we have a the front desk. I do stop at "What the fuck did you say?" because I am, if nothing else, a professional.
The phones that you see sitting on the desk were on the wall, available to members. These, my friends, were Larry's lifeline.
And now they're gone.
Larry (see previous blog post) used these phones 24/7 to conduct his business. He spent his day in the club pacing back and forth and conducting his business on these phones. You know, his phone calls with his lawyer, or whoever is handling his IRS problems. Sometimes his vet, sometimes, I think, his sister. I want to meet Larry's sister, god help me.
Last week, my less than fruitful conversation with the GM about Larry ended up in, "I'll talk to him. I have to let him know we're taking the phones away." We've all been waiting with bated breath.
So today, the day arrived. Within minutes, Jose took away Larry's life.
We chatted, anticipating Larry's arrival. For the first time, words came out of our mouths like, "I wish Larry were here to see this," or my personal favorite, "I want to be here when Larry walks in the door." That one actually came from my mouth.
Larry did walk through the door, looked at the wall, and declared, "Shit! The phones are gone!" Then he asked, "What about the one in the men's locker room? Is that still there?" To which NGE (Nicest girl ever, aka SGE, sweetest girl ever) replied, "Yes, that one's still there."
Whew, you could see the look of relief cross Larry's face. He can continue to conduct his business from the locker room.
I relayed this information to the GM who was relieved beyond belief. I think because he doesn't have to deal with my complaints about Larry anymore and he doesn't have to do anything about it. Quickly though, the thought crossed his mind, "Oh, now other people will be complaining about Larry. Better take that phone out too."
I'm off for five days. I need a break. I always do after a few days at the club. But admittedly, I want to know what happens! I will be checking in with my friend NGE to get reports, and you can be sure, I'll be reporting here.