My Wedding Rx Kit

(Disclaimer: I am very excited about my wedding and not stressed. A friend was worried, this is all in good fun.)
It's very difficult being the bride. Especially at my age. There's too much that needs fixing in too short an amount of time. From left to right:
1. Special prescription anti-sweat medicine to prevent pools of sweat from running down my chest and ruining my dress. This needs to be applied nightly for the next couple of weeks in order to "shrink" my sweatglands. So far, it's not working.
2. Tend Skin to prevent bumps from getting waxed.
3. Xanax to relieve obsessive tendencies about maddening details.
4. Nu-Smile teeth whitener.
5. Retinol cream to decrease the appearance of age spots on my hands.
And let's not forget the nail hardener to keep my nails from breaking until the wedding, hair conditioner to keep my hair from getting damaged from swimming before the wedding, moisturizer galore to keep my skin soft and smooth for the wedding and SPF 30 to hopefully prevent skin cancer from too much tanning before the wedding.
I'm exhausted and my skin needs a break.
After the wedding, I'm letting myself go to hell. I'm chopping my hair off, not waxing and cutting my nails short. Not to mention that I won't be exercising compulsively and I will be drinking again.
I can't wait for the honeymoon.