While everyone else is giving thanks all over the country, here's my rant. (They don't have Thanksgiving around the world, do they? I mean aside from the obvious, what other country is moronic enough to base an entire holiday on a meal? Granted, all Jewish holidays are based on meals, but there's always some reason for the meal, and some symbolism behind the food. Thanksgiving? Not so much. We just eat because the pilgrims ate.)
So here's my gripe. We spend all year, most of us, trying to avoid two things - family and food. Not ONE of us really enjoys our family all that much, and certainly not one of us doesn't feel guilty after they eat a huge meal. Most of us - fat or skinny - spend every day worrying about what we've put in our mouths. For weeks leading up to Thanksgiving day, health clubs and workout magazines advertise their pre-thanksgiving workouts so that we can burn off calories in the morning before we sit down to the "meal." Let me tell you, no hour-long workout on the planet burns enough calories to compensate for the "meal."
Holiday stress? Well, duh. Let's start the holiday season off cranky because we ate too much and fought with our family who we, on a normal day, would never spend so much time with, and then wake up the next morning, hungover, only to hear about the 4:00 a.m. door opening at Macy's.
It's insane.
I remember one year in Steamboat with my girlfriend Kim sitting at the Tugboat bar - hardly anyone there - eating their pretty awful version of a turkey dinner. It was the best Thanksgiving I ever had. We just hung out, it was mellow, I think there was music, and there was no drama. I don't think I even walked away from the table full and I didn't have to run 10 miles to make up for one, stinking meal. I did, however, run ten miles the next morning just because I was in Steamboat.
So now, it's Thanksgiving morning and instead of being thankful like all my spiritually enlightened friends (Have you seen my nauseating Facebook home page? I'm ready to puke.) I am cranky. I have to run in the rain because if I don't, I'll feel even worse about myself tonight, and I have to spend the whole day getting up my gumption and working up my resistance to temptation so I refuse second and third helpings of stuffing which will inevitably be broken down at the table leaving me to hate myself. When saving my money for liposuction is on my mind every minute of every day, the Thanksgiving MEAL is NOT REALLY ON THE AGENDA!
On top of this, SSMG would just as soon stay home and watch movies, but alas, mom will be very disappointed. She considers him family, poor guy. Me? I couldn't care less if he joins us. I don't believe in subjecting our significant others to family, and quite frankly, Sam needs him home more than we need him to eat.
When we move, Thanksgiving is going to be at our big, new house with all our new friends who don't have family in the area. Light food, lots of beverage and walks on the trails after "The Meal."
Then, I can happily give thanks that I have such a wonderful family who doesn't expect me to fight the airlines and fly in to visit them on Thanksgiving.
So here's my gripe. We spend all year, most of us, trying to avoid two things - family and food. Not ONE of us really enjoys our family all that much, and certainly not one of us doesn't feel guilty after they eat a huge meal. Most of us - fat or skinny - spend every day worrying about what we've put in our mouths. For weeks leading up to Thanksgiving day, health clubs and workout magazines advertise their pre-thanksgiving workouts so that we can burn off calories in the morning before we sit down to the "meal." Let me tell you, no hour-long workout on the planet burns enough calories to compensate for the "meal."
Holiday stress? Well, duh. Let's start the holiday season off cranky because we ate too much and fought with our family who we, on a normal day, would never spend so much time with, and then wake up the next morning, hungover, only to hear about the 4:00 a.m. door opening at Macy's.
It's insane.
I remember one year in Steamboat with my girlfriend Kim sitting at the Tugboat bar - hardly anyone there - eating their pretty awful version of a turkey dinner. It was the best Thanksgiving I ever had. We just hung out, it was mellow, I think there was music, and there was no drama. I don't think I even walked away from the table full and I didn't have to run 10 miles to make up for one, stinking meal. I did, however, run ten miles the next morning just because I was in Steamboat.
So now, it's Thanksgiving morning and instead of being thankful like all my spiritually enlightened friends (Have you seen my nauseating Facebook home page? I'm ready to puke.) I am cranky. I have to run in the rain because if I don't, I'll feel even worse about myself tonight, and I have to spend the whole day getting up my gumption and working up my resistance to temptation so I refuse second and third helpings of stuffing which will inevitably be broken down at the table leaving me to hate myself. When saving my money for liposuction is on my mind every minute of every day, the Thanksgiving MEAL is NOT REALLY ON THE AGENDA!
On top of this, SSMG would just as soon stay home and watch movies, but alas, mom will be very disappointed. She considers him family, poor guy. Me? I couldn't care less if he joins us. I don't believe in subjecting our significant others to family, and quite frankly, Sam needs him home more than we need him to eat.
When we move, Thanksgiving is going to be at our big, new house with all our new friends who don't have family in the area. Light food, lots of beverage and walks on the trails after "The Meal."
Then, I can happily give thanks that I have such a wonderful family who doesn't expect me to fight the airlines and fly in to visit them on Thanksgiving.
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