A third reader??? No way!

Someone else is reading my blog, and she too said that I was funny! I'd put her pet up at the top, but she doesn't have one. In fact, she's kind of a neat freak and I don't think she really likes animals. That's okay, I can overlook that only because she's such a great gal and I like her so much.
So SSMG and I just spent five days in Anna Maria Island, FL. When we first arrived, both of us were completely enamored by the place. It was quiet, no attitude, no commercialization and very un-Florida-like. That was during the week. Yesterday, the weekend beachgoers arrived and it became crowded with the dreaded tourists. Michael declared that he was sick of lying around on the beach, and we both became misanthropes. In fact, it became a deluge of criticisms at poor, unknowing folks.
"Nice socks!" SSMG screamed at the old police officer directing traffic at the only intersection on the island who happened to be wearing white knee socks.
"People with walkers should have their own separate areas in restaurants, and, for that matter, everywhere," we agreed.
"Why are people fat in different areas of their bodies?" SSMG asked me, completely serious and legitimately curious as we people-watched the masses on the beach. I explained that it's just like eye or hair color and that most of us inherit the shapes of our parents. Poor SSMG as he pictured my mother in a bikini.
Our victims were mostly old people. This was Florida after all. But then the young couple moved in next door to us in our serene haven.
"They've got tattoos and piercings all over them. This is gonna be a loud night," I said at 9:00 when we went to sleep.
The best thing about vacationing in florida is that everyone eats early. I love that. Eating early is so healthy and so much better on the waistline. Breakfast at 10, dinner at 6 I always say. Especially when the sun sets during dinner and you get a free shot to celebrate its disappearance into the sea.
I did what I do best. I sunbathed. And I got really burned. My swollen bottom lip, in my mind, resembled Angelina Jolie and made me feel sexy until I looked in the mirror and realized I looked like I was being abused. Nothing sexy about that.
My sunburned feet got really fat. What used to be thin, delicate peds were now elephant feet that throbbed and kept me up all night despite the disgusting Aloe Vera lotion that turned everything green.
But really, it was a great vacation. We ran on the beach, sunned ourselves, kayaked and had the occasional cocktail or three or four while we watched the sun set.
Now it's back to reality. Oh wait, I don't have a job. Well, in any case, it's back to the bubble where the sun was actually shining upon our return, the snow has melted and it was warm enough to run in shorts and a T-shirt. Hallelujah. There is an end in sight.