BG Crashes Head and Falls (animals safe)

Last night I drank too much. When my designated driver dropped me off at the house, I decided I wanted Ruby to sleep with me, so I picked her up (brute strength!) and put her on the bed where she silently slept through most of the night. At 4:30 I woke up perplexed - where did we go last night? How much did I drink?
Here's what I came up with: 2 Stellas at Chicago's, a Rio margarita, a margarita at Jax and, to top off the night, a Mojito at Seven. Head pounding, I needed to get up and take some Alka Seltzer. When Ruby looked as if she was going to jump off the bed (which reaches the ceiling, by the way) I decided better to lift her off. We scrambled a little until I got her down on the floor and proceeded to bang my head on the wall and fall to the floor. Ruby and Pearl gave me that look that said, "what the hell are you doing on the floor?" and quickly fell back to sleep.
There I lay until I could surmise that I didn't have a concussion. Realizing that no, I was just hungover, I made my way into the kitchen for some AS, my favorite hangover remedy, and, not having the strength to pull myself back up onto the bed, spent the rest of the night on the couch.
Moral of the story: When drunk, and getting up to take Alka Seltzer, don't try to lift the dog.
A well-rested Ruby and I are off to attempt a hike.