The Family

And I'm not talking Sopranos. The bubbles - both the physical bubble and the metaphoric one in which I live - were crowded this week. SSM Guy's family came to visit. They are very nice. Little did they know that BG was on the verge of a nervous breakdown all week.
In the metaphoric bubble that I call my head (I know, I'm not supposed to be writing about my thoughts) it was mayhem. I met my deadline with a feature story that has to basically be rewritten because it sucked. I lost at least two friends. I fantasized about quitting work, agonized over a $400 ticket to Colorado which led to me losing at least one of the aforementioned friends, panicked about how I was going to make more money, and decided that quitting work wasn't a good idea. I ate dessert every night and noticed some things on my legs that aren't muscles. I visited mom and and felt terrible again for being a mean daughter who snaps at everything she says. And today is father's day and that just sucks.
My head hurts. I unloaded all of this to SSM Guy last night. He was a little surprised to find out that all this time - despite my calm demeanor (I blame the drugs) - I had basically been on the verge of cracking. But, I decided again that he is the man for me. You know what he said? "You know, you're not alone."
God. I'm positive that he took lessons on "What to say to the woman you're dating to make her think you're the greatest guy alive." Of course, then I got really paranoid and started to believe that perhaps he has taken lessons and is only saying what he thinks I want to hear and inside he's planning his escape only to leave me wondering, "But he said he loved me? What happened?"
Happy Father's Day.