Larry and Speedo in the same sentence???

Continue reading at your own risk. I have the photo to prove it, but this is the internet, after all, and I'm afraid he'll find it, get paranoid, come to the club with the gun we've talked about and spray bullets at the front desk.
We had a pool party at the club and Larry was doing his usual meandering about with his laptop staring down everyone. Next thing I knew, he emerged from the locker room in his Speedo! I literally threw up in my mouth. I have never seen such a disgusting, disturbing sight. My manager, who has now admitted to me that she's afraid of what he might do, was concerned that he was roaming around like this with children around.
My manager. Did anyone catch that?
God, I need to run my own business and show everyone how it's done. Starting with, if you're afraid one of your members is dangerous, fire them!
I ran away and got caught by a member who was extremely angry that the pool was closed for the party. So angry in fact that she screamed at me in front of a bunch of other members. I realized that in my skirt I looked professional and she thought I was in charge. So maybe being in charge isn't really that great. I sent her to my manager.
A new member came into the club the other day, and guess what? He's an old, Jewish man. He latched onto me recognizing my kinship and hasn't left me alone since. He's a member at the OTHER club, using ours, and immediately pointed out that our massages cost a few pennies more than theirs, implying that I should "get him a deal." Right. And contribute to that negative stereotype? I don't think so. "Excuse me General Manager, we have a member who, because he's old and Jewish thinks he should be getting a deal on massages. What do you think?" Great.
The craziness continues, I have just taken a break from writing about it with the hope that things will improve. Alas, they don't.